A mentor needs to be a good listener. This involves a lot more than just hearing what your mentee is saying.

'Active listening' takes effort, and requires concentration and continuous interaction as you try to understand what your mentee is really saying, over and above the words they are using.

The main features of active listening are:

• Focussing on the topic at hand, and putting aside distractions and other issues that aren't relevant to the issue.
  
  
• Being attuned to body language, and looking more deeply at the real message that's coming through when your mentee's spoken words don't match their non-verbal signals.
  
  
• Providing encouragement, including using non-verbal communication such as nodding and smiling, as well as verbal responses like 'yes', 'sure', 'go on'.
  
  
• Giving feedback, such as repeating in your own words what you believe your mentee is telling you, and asking questions if you need clarification or want them to elaborate further.
  
  
• Not interrupting, and allowing the mentee to finish making their point before you respond with your own interpretation of what they're saying.

Modern mentoring involves 'listening' in other ways, too. In addition to phone conversations, it's likely that you'll be communicating with your mentor at times by email, text message and maybe even via a social networking website. Again, it's important that you look beyond the words and try to establish where the mentee is coming from, and whether you should be addressing underlying motivations or attitudes.